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This should solve all your problems....
1) Uninstall Google chrome and any other google application (I deleted all other google apps in case the google update was being used my something else)
2) Go to C:\Users\<username>\AppData\Local\Google\Chrome\User Data\Default and copy your bookmarks file for later if you want to keep your bookmarks.
3) Delete the google folder in the previous root structure (C:\Users\<username>\AppData\Local\Google). Also go to Program Files and delete the google folder from there too.
4) (Not sure if necessary but I did anyway) Get a registry cleaner and run that. Mine found broken registry entries regarding google updater and removed them).
5) The real secret behind this! Download the "Google Pack" (http://pack.google.com/intl/en/pack_installer.html?ciNum=14&hl=en) and only select google Chrome (I'm sure you can install the other google apps later but best to take one step at a time with this issue). The good thing about this is that it installs the google updater app first and installs google chrome from within that, hence resolving all the probable admin issues with the updater in the past. Once installed click run as indicated by the app and then go to about google chrome as I'm sure your all used to and Bingo! It works.
6) Paste your original bookmarks file back in to C:\Users\<username>\AppData\Local\Google\Chrome\User Data\Default and restart Chrome. Then it will be back to normal with update working. You can then install all extensions if you want.
I hope this helps you guys. I have had this problem for years now and relieved to have finally found a solution.